Family of Choice- The FOC

This page is a special one to me. When my husband died in 1995 I found this group on the computer. The Medical Support BB on Prodigy Classic(an online service) had a bulletin board for Grief and Death and they had topics that started with w/. These people had all walked the path of grief after their spouses had died. You could come to this board in the middle of the night, pour your heart out and within minutes someone would respond with comforting words or virtual hugs. It was better than therapy, you didn't need to wait to see the therapist. The people on this board understood, they didn't respond with the typical answers one receives after the death of a spouse. Sometimes it wasn't what someone said, it was the silence that spoke.

Family of Choice(FOC) was coined by Shirley. It refers to the fact that we are considered family with the others because we chose them. As part of the FOC we had "love-ins". Below you will see some of the folks that attended these gatherings. I can remember in the summer of 1995 I attended my first love in at Shirl's beach "shack". I felt so lost, looking at all these people who have adjusted to the loss of their loved one, "would I ever be like that?". The outpouring of love and support from these people helped so much in my ability to move on and learn to enjoy life again! As you can tell from my web site I have a number of varied interests that keep me very busy! These people truly are family now, I have family all over the United States. I have many brothers and sisters! I try to return the favor by responding to those new people that are learning to deal with the death of a spouse.

We also have some heartwarming stories of FOC that fell in love again. We have several couples that met on this board that wrote to each other and ended up dating or getting married. The board was not a "dating service", but rather a place where you can share your innermost thoughts with people that understood.

Memorial Candles Something you can use at the holidays to remember your loved one.

Click on the small picture, and a larger version will appear. Just close the window to return to this page.

	from the left: Ursula,Joan,Nan,Jeannie,Kathy back row: Harvey,Dave,Marcey,Barbara(Ed's mother, passed away in October 1998),Ed,Carolyn,Barb,Bob Taken in Rockport MA
	from the left: Carolyn,Carla,Jen,Elaine's friend back row:Linda,Jen's friend,Elaine Taken in NY
	from the left: Terri,Sue,Charlotte,Pat,Ed,Shirl,Diane and Jeannie Taken at Shirl's beach "shack" in Ocean City
	from the left: Elaine L., Charlotte, Jeannie, Barbara, Elaine H. Taken at Jeannie and John's Oct. 98
	the front row: Elaine L., Jeannie, Elaine H. back row: Charlotte, Barb, Kathy. Apologies to Jim and John, they were in the "cave" when the pictures were taken.